I think in order to tackle some techniques to become stronger emotionally, we need to define a crucial part of it.
What exactly is meant by stronger emotionally?
If it is to keep the emotions you experience on a daily basis and use reason to influence your behaviors to external stimuli, than I think we’re on to something.
Hopefully, we’re not talking stronger in terms of increasing the intensity of the emotions- if so, I cannot help and quite frankly, think you’re doomed.
“People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it’s impossible to count them accurately.” -Oscar Wilde
a rational approach to all personal endeavors is needed in order to live objectively in the world around you and treat potential outcomes with reasonable predictability.
So how does one do this?
I think there are a handful of techniques, tricks and rituals one can adopt in order to achieve a more reasonable emotional response.
Take a listen first approach.
Too often are people talking. Hell, I know I’m guilty of it.
I tend to give my opinion and drown the other person’s voice out with my own. This can only go so far. When we’re talking we aren’t listening. In order to gain understanding, we need to listen. When we hear the other person talk, we are keeping our emotions at bay for a moment- perhaps a moment is all you need.
I know, I know. Every single person you listen to is always talking about meditating. All I have to say about this at this point is if you meditate, you know the benefits it has brought you.
You know how it has slowed you down to emotional reactive responses. You know how you are able to adopt a bird’s eye view on your behaviors. If you don’t meditate, perhaps you’ll be a prisoner to your emotions till you die.
I can get hot headed. If you’re a bit like me, once the match in my head is lit, the fire goes rampant. A personal technique I have adopted in “slowing my roll” is taking a HUGE breath in through my nose and again out my nose (I know people have said out through the mouth, however, I feel the exhale then becomes too quick).
I take the biggest breath in possible.
I take it slow and steady. I feel my chest and belly swell with air. The slow inhale slows me down tremendously to a more level, relaxing state. The length of time for the breath allows me to see my emotional response for what it is: just an impulsive reaction.
Press the “hard button” when prompted.
This isn’t really a technique or ritual. This is a mindset you need to adopt when presented with difficult situations in life.
Think about it, if you need to have that tough conversation with your girlfriend but run from it, what do you learn? If you need to have that conversation with your boss about your promotion but brush it off, what gain are you missing out on?
If you are grossly overweight and are putting off changing your diet and going to the gym, what life is escaping you?
Push yourself physically.
Plain and simple, I think there are a lot of weak people out there (especially in my generation- Millennials).
Sorry I’m not sorry.
Too often do I meet people who had their lives essentially picked up after them by perhaps parents or friends. They have been coddled. How are you expected to be strong mentally if you are weak physically. We all know DaVinci’s Vitruvian Man.
The drawing is a representation of how man is a reflection of the universe. There is a symbiotic relationship to being physically strong and thus mentally. You don’t need to be a Greek God but lift some heavy objects and take the stairs every once and a while.
Travel and discover the world.
You are a node in network. How are you going to impact that network and absorb all the data it has to offer?
Are you going to stay a citizen in your hometown? Are you going to stay a citizen within your city?
Or are you going to take the knowledge of what you know, the make up of who you are, your family influence, your geographical influence and share that with the world?
The world will then in turn share what it knows with you. When you can take the cocktail of both influences you can build yourself into a resilient, worldly citizen who can conquer all emotional responses (the biggest one being fear). Fear drives our behaviors constantly. It causes us to hide, it causes us to hate and worse, it causes us to kill.
Emotional responses are futile and fleeting. Generally they don’t offer much in terms of growth for yourself and the people around you.
Emotions build a small problem into a larger one.
Emotions take control of your consciousness and let a Madman take the wheel. This madman doesn’t necessarily care about your wellbeing or the wellbeing of others, what he does care about is inflating himself.
This can either be taken by the role of tyrant or perhaps victim. Both those paths lead to a place of ruin and despair. It pulls people into warring factions.
When we come from our reactions from a place of reason, we allow ourselves to take a step back and learn from the situation.
It creates a decision tree and we are able to take the optimal path that’s grounded in objective reality.
Albert Einstein coined the phrase, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” An emotional response or connection often times is the culprit for trying the same thing over and expecting different results.
Reason can set you free. Mindfulness can set you free. Strength can set you free.
Ready For A Boost?
I’m Offering You a 6 Part Guide That Will Grow Your Mind And Help You Set And Reach Goals Of Your Creative Endeavors.